Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
To Work or Stay at Home?
Such dilemma I believe for women who even came across the fact that women should stay at home.
I have a kid. Yeah one. Only one. And hopefully will stay only one.
Why such isinsistence?
I came from a brood of 5. Already a great quantity for any family and so much so if one happens to be a "common" family in a third world country.
I'm from the Philippines so that gives you an idea how hard life can be.
I didn't know I'm missing anything any better since they say you only know you what you are missing once you start to spread your wings and start seeing things outside your nest.
I know a lot was amiss when my mother refused to sign the application form for the University of the Philippines' college entrance. We were given that entrance application form by our high school. That high school would train you to always be prepared or you'd end up standing throughout the class' even if it runs an hour and a half long. Being given an application for entrance exam by that high school to the country's leading university is enough to make one's head get big since that school had been a test of survival of the fittest educationally and psychologically. I was among the top 50 students (top sectioned) of almost 700 students who graduated from that high school known for producing top students in the country's premiere university.
The refusal for the signature was my mother told me that since am a female am ultimately would be homebound anyway. A lot of times true, in my country. In my case I thought the refusal was really because of financial concerns. Other times I think it's all the pressure of raising 5 kids while my father has to work in the Middle East so that we could stand on our own that my mother never had the time to ask how my day was and realize that probably becoming a lawyer from the University of the Philippines maybe a suited goal for me. She wouldn't have refused to sign that form is she had known how I do in school (not the best among the best but I'm quite fluent orally and in writing in my second language [English] and had the knack of pinning down the exact point of any argument [not to mention I come across strongly, normally]).
I didn't do bad with my Psychology degree and 18 units in Education and some units in post graduate studies in Education Management. I got to be a part time teacher, hold an office, study at night and be a a part time disc jockey all at the same time.
So you can see the dilemma I faced when I have to choose home or career.
I chose to stay at home not at once after childbirth but after an unfortunate turn of events in my last workplace. I was thinking of quitting altogether after giving birth but I decided not to change what's been there. I thought I'd just try to juggle things up... I'd find a sitter, go to work and see what happens. Well, what happened after everything is I quit. So I got to stay at home. And got to see the "everyday" of my child. All mothers who discovered the "everydays" of their child always say it's wonderful. Well, I'm telling you once you experience it you'd drop everything in a second and live through your child.
Of course, my husband has to carry the burden of the household's finances. But as is true fate has it's way of making things work. He got some sidelines. Suddenly things were not so bad.
I got to see what my child's temperament is..., the nunances he got from me and my husband... and I got to find out that he's a gentle soul. (Which means I got to make him grow fangs he can bring out in the future when needed.)
I hope he continues to be what I found him to be. He's got a good heart. But I want to be there with him all the way. Know why he's sad, know what he wants and support him all the way. Be able to give everything I feel any child deserves: love, attention, guidance and all the security that we, as parents, can physically and let's face it materially can provide.
I have a kid. Yeah one. Only one. And hopefully will stay only one.
Why such isinsistence?
I came from a brood of 5. Already a great quantity for any family and so much so if one happens to be a "common" family in a third world country.
I'm from the Philippines so that gives you an idea how hard life can be.
I didn't know I'm missing anything any better since they say you only know you what you are missing once you start to spread your wings and start seeing things outside your nest.
I know a lot was amiss when my mother refused to sign the application form for the University of the Philippines' college entrance. We were given that entrance application form by our high school. That high school would train you to always be prepared or you'd end up standing throughout the class' even if it runs an hour and a half long. Being given an application for entrance exam by that high school to the country's leading university is enough to make one's head get big since that school had been a test of survival of the fittest educationally and psychologically. I was among the top 50 students (top sectioned) of almost 700 students who graduated from that high school known for producing top students in the country's premiere university.
The refusal for the signature was my mother told me that since am a female am ultimately would be homebound anyway. A lot of times true, in my country. In my case I thought the refusal was really because of financial concerns. Other times I think it's all the pressure of raising 5 kids while my father has to work in the Middle East so that we could stand on our own that my mother never had the time to ask how my day was and realize that probably becoming a lawyer from the University of the Philippines maybe a suited goal for me. She wouldn't have refused to sign that form is she had known how I do in school (not the best among the best but I'm quite fluent orally and in writing in my second language [English] and had the knack of pinning down the exact point of any argument [not to mention I come across strongly, normally]).
I didn't do bad with my Psychology degree and 18 units in Education and some units in post graduate studies in Education Management. I got to be a part time teacher, hold an office, study at night and be a a part time disc jockey all at the same time.
So you can see the dilemma I faced when I have to choose home or career.
I chose to stay at home not at once after childbirth but after an unfortunate turn of events in my last workplace. I was thinking of quitting altogether after giving birth but I decided not to change what's been there. I thought I'd just try to juggle things up... I'd find a sitter, go to work and see what happens. Well, what happened after everything is I quit. So I got to stay at home. And got to see the "everyday" of my child. All mothers who discovered the "everydays" of their child always say it's wonderful. Well, I'm telling you once you experience it you'd drop everything in a second and live through your child.
Of course, my husband has to carry the burden of the household's finances. But as is true fate has it's way of making things work. He got some sidelines. Suddenly things were not so bad.
I got to see what my child's temperament is..., the nunances he got from me and my husband... and I got to find out that he's a gentle soul. (Which means I got to make him grow fangs he can bring out in the future when needed.)
I hope he continues to be what I found him to be. He's got a good heart. But I want to be there with him all the way. Know why he's sad, know what he wants and support him all the way. Be able to give everything I feel any child deserves: love, attention, guidance and all the security that we, as parents, can physically and let's face it materially can provide.
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